What Happened?

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Its an hour past midnight and i still cant fall asleep.

I feel that i am just not me anymore. Its just so hard.

What Happened?

I am very very affected by the way things have went.

Just as i was picking myself up and back to my usual self after all the workplace happenings, someone push me down again. Trouble... yes, it came knocking on my door last evening. I am really very confused. It only involved one person but now the boss and other staff is giving me problems. Not only to me but my Family. Seriously i dunno what is happening. I have left the workplace but the trouble never left me at all. Time and again someone is digging back sumthing. Now tell me, how am i to move on?

Last noon went for my first driving lesson with a peaceful mind, came home ate and rest. Evening was the moment, I couldn't believe my ears that the problem has gotten worst due to dun't know whose mouth went to tell what rubbish and stir up everything. The evening shouts, screams, words exchanged, the looks and all at workplace involving his boss and my boss was sumthng totally uncalled for. Just cuz of one person say sumthing the other one is not happy. In this case, how is the matter going to rest if each and everytime sumone say sumthng and u arent happy? If fight back is the only way such people know then too bad, i cant help it. I am already giving the matter a closure but seems like some people is making me to take legal actions against them. Well..if that is the only way i have to stop my mental torture, i will have to take that nasty step and move on.

I am just a gal and i beg to just leave me alone and stop pestering me again and again with this problem. It is just a small matter gone BIG. I had enough of the person who ruined my name and the good gal image. I am totally depressed. I know nothing can change the way people think of me. Nothing can change a human's mind if its set that you are blah blah blah kinda of gal. But again i just want to be left alone. Dun't wish to know who gossip wat, who laugh at wat, who talk wat but then just let the matter rest i all i ask for.

Is that just so hard?

Last weekend i told myself that i want this week to be a good one. But the first day of the week started pretty bad and now its worse. Hope nothing more will happen or else the first person to hear all that n faint will be me.

I am totally weak mentally and its really a mental torture but i dunno why am i pretending like i am fine~~~~

Can't u feel sumthing is amiss?

Only god has to decide next...

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